For the first time since the PCT merger I hesitated several times yesterday before making decisions. A meeting with another manager about the life support training we buy, a new system for foothealth protected CPD, were just two of the things that I wouldn’t have thought twice about being involved in. Maybe I still will be involved, and maybe it is still my business, but I really don’t know. This led me to spend much of the day kind of tidying up, deleting old emails and moving files around (all necessary housekeeping that gets left during busier times). The office had the feeling of anticipation, but not in the end of term hysterical sense that we have had for weeks, more of something quite sombre, morbid even. Many colleagues seemed to have taken the day off, or maybe they were at meetings outside the building (though this is quite doubtful as most are in a similar position to me). For the first time in many weeks I took a whole hour for lunch, and walked around the shopping centre which is so close to our office though only managed to find one present.  Next week will be defining, whatever happens decisions will start to be made about how services will function in the future, then we will have the Christmas period to get ourselves ready for the burst of activity which will surely come during the first week in January. I just hope I am doing the job I want when that time comes.

So to the weekend, we have our tree; I was persuaded by teen son to buy one which is probably too big for the room (and cost more than I have admitted to hubby), but actually it looks pretty good. I just need to cut down the top stalk bit as the poor fairy is leaning somewhat precariously. I have also wrapped what presents I have bought and hope to buy the rest this weekend. Now my attention turns to the food I need to buy, as for once I am the family hostess, I intend to make this a family Christmas to remember!