In the NHS our year runs from 1st April (very apt some might say) to 31st March, so the 2006/7 financial year has just ended. Much as at the start of the calendar year this was traditionally the time of new beginnings, new budgets, new hope. It doesn’t quite feel like that this year, but I am not really sure this is about money, it is more about a general malaise, a lack of a feel good factor, definitely a low morale. In the PCTs we have had the CPLNHS process, which for some has not yet reached its conclusion, for others there have been a freeze on vacancies so that services are being expected to provide a greater, better service with less staff and no money for service development. For me, there has been a change in direction, a new job doing something I would never have imagined myself being involved in and it means I am on protected pay for 2 years because there is no way else to package up what is essentially a demotion.

The sense of disbelief, anxiety, depression and of course anger I find in posts and comments of the medical blogs I frequently read mirror some of the feelings I have experienced myself and the conversations I have had with my colleagues in the PCTs. It was with increasing horror that I read about the Modernising Medical Careers job application / interview debacle. OK so the circumstances are different, these are junior doctors who should be on a clear path through their career towards a specific goal of specialism but if you are treated in this way by employers, deaneries, the government then the message seems to be the same. For me that message is: just bear with us while we muck about with your lives, your careers because we don’t know what the hell we are doing. Oh and while we are doing that we just want you to get on with providing health care to the population of the UK!

I have worked for different parts of the NHS for over 26 years (though of course I was 10 when I started my nurse training), I have always considered myself loyal to the employers I have had, I have often gone that extra mile to complete something, to stay behind even heaven help me to come in on my off duty for no pay. But where has that got me? Does any kind of politician actually know or care about the kind of dedication employees of the NHS have shown over the years? Well maybe they are going to find out, because if you have no goodwill you sure as hell won’t have an NHS for much longer!