That I am happy. I am over the mess that was CaPLNHS, I am motivated, I am enthusiastic; yes probably I am slightly nauseating! This week our organisation was a year old, and celebrated by sending itself a card with a lovely looking cake on it. The staff were displeased, there was a card, but where were the real cakes? We could have accepted more money wasting if it had meant cakes. Of course, I no longer eat cakes as I have now lost 14lb or indeed one whole British stone and am on my way to slimness.

But back to the title and purpose of this post, which is to let you share in my happiness, to let you see that I am now glad to be alive and happy to work in the NHS. My job is actually a good one and what is more is pretty fun to do (well it is fun when there are no members of the paediatric medical profession and patient form groups involved) plus I am being allowed to do other things that I like to do, like teach on leadership courses and help out at away days for community matrons. Of course I will be allowed to do these other fun things so long as I am nice to paediatricians and PPI people and also as long as I do all the proper children’s commissioning work I am meant to do (which of course I do).

I no longer feel sad, I no longer feel like my brain is in a fog and I am once again giving people the benefit of my advice, support, and wisdom. Until this week, I really didn’t know how awful I felt at the beginning of this year. I have never before encountered a change process that knocks the ‘get up and go’ out of me. I am pleased to announce though that I am looking to the future with enthusiasm in a way that I didn’t think I could.

Of course, all of the above could be scuppered by a) the current government changing their direction though if yesterdays plans / report is anything to go by it is pretty much more of the same old spin or b) that there is a general election next month, and that we get a new government that changes the system. However, I refuse to let myself get depressed any day soon after all I am off on a cruise in only 2 weeks!