I have followed with amazement the ‘canoegate’ story this week of John Darwin and his wife who appear to have led the authorities and their sons into believing that he had died in a canoe accident 5 years ago when he had in fact been living in his own house, Europe and Panama during that time. I have to admit that when he turned up last week apparently without a memory in the south of england while his wife was in of all places Panama I smelt something of a rat. After all who goes to Panama other than to cruise down the canal? I am intrigued by the idea that he would pretend to be dead because of debt problems, but then that his wife would help them both out by pretending that he was dead, having him declared so and then claiming life assurance policies. How desperate would you need to be do do such a thing?

I have rarely broken the law. Ok so I do break the speed limit on the motorway, but then who doesn’t but other wise I think I’d be a poor law breaker. Once in about 1972 I and a cousin stole some sweets while out shopping but were so ashamed of our behaviour that we couldn’t eat them and instead binned them. I am not sure that I would be any better now at making out I had done know wrong. Once also in about 1982 the police called round to my parents house while they were on holiday and we were holding a fancy dress party. I agreed to turn the music down and did. I also admitted to my own parents that a party had taken place and that the beer cans under the bushes in the garden didn’t just grow there. So you see I could never be the type of person to pretend that her husband was dead when he wasn’t, much less lying to her offspring. The worst thing about the whole episode has been that she has been waiting it out in Miami, selling her story to all journalists who cared, while at home her husband had been arrested and her sons were getting more and more angry at their deception. If I were going to break the law, I doubt it would be pretending my husband were dead and claiming on his life policy!