My husband’s granny has been in hospital for a month. She is taking up a bed in an acute hospital during a time of year when there are usually ‘winter pressures’. She went in with some dehydration, constipation and the possibility of a urine infection that never transpired. Within 2 or 3 days she was pretty much her usual moderately confused self. She knows who she is and when she was born. She knows the names of the carers in her elderly care home and she knows who we all are even if we are not there. She doesn’t walk and hasn’t done so for the last few years, she is moved using a hoist at home. She is incontinent and wears Tena or some other make of pads. None of this has changed.
My father in law is an only child. His wife has lupus and seems to be getting a bit forgetful herself and his son for whom he is the main carer has motor neurone disease, he also doesn’t drive so has to go by train to visit her if we cannot take him. The three times a week trip is taking its toll. He is not the kind of man to ask questions or indeed to question exactly what is going on. But even he is puzzled by the hospital’s continued insistence that they are doing ‘tests’. He is even more puzzled that they are trying to get her to walk. As Granny said yesterday “I am 96 and I don’t want to walk”. I think that hubby and I will have to make a visit this weekend so that I can ask some pertinent questions about their discharge plan; hospitals are not the best place for a 96 year old who really doesn’t seem to be ill any more!
Reminds me of dear old Granddad who, at 76 was terminal with cancer. It was rapid onset (or probably he never complained enough) and he was expected to live only a short time.
Family decided to care for him at home for the last days and several family members, including myself made the journey up to be at his bedside.
I was happy to do ‘my bit’, as the young (20) student nurse I thought it would be best I did the ‘night shift’; by day, my mum, dad, uncle and aunt did the main caring; all governed by grandma.
I recall in my wakeful time one afternoon that the “adults” were somewhat annoyed and ranting – turns out the hospital has asked for Granddad to come back in for more ‘tests’. Apparently, they wanted to know where the ‘primary’ was. Understandably, this was important as he was likely to be dead in less than a week – so finding the primary was going to be really helpful… not.
Well, my uncle happens to be a consultant psychiatrist, so he was most concerned that this was not ‘death with dignity’; his wife, my aunt and mum’s sister – a clinical psychologist; she was not too impressed either. Dad, who had retired from his senior nurse tutoring position a few years earlier, saw no sense in it either.
However, when the nurse from the ward called to talk to someone about whether Grandad was ready for the ambulance to pick him up – they let Mum deal with it… well, she was a current UKCC appointed board member who sat on the Professional Conduct Committee… she knew a bit about patient rights and appropriate conduct, and the words “Code of Conduct” sounded a lot different coming from her than they might anyone else.
(Now you see why I chose the night shift! -and as an aside, it was the strangest thing that when I got peckish at 3am and wanted a snack, I couldn’t bring myself to take food from the patient’s pantry – even tho it was my grandparents’ – that was weird)
Grandad passed away peacefully at home 3 days later, in his front ‘parlour room’ of 60 years, with family by his side. (and a pretty good multi-disciplinary family too!).
Go get Granny and remind them; the service is there for the people, not the people there for the service.
(Might tell ya next time about when my (then) wife had our second child by C-Section in the meat-market DGH and what happened when they “wouldn’t let her” transfer to local cottage hospital to recuperate)
A month? Wow. That is way too long for a 96 year old who pretty much seems to be back at baseline. Thankfully she has family that can come and rescue her.
Thanks for that both of you, because as the ‘in-law’ you check yourself that little bit more. I think it is time Julie stuck her nose in here!
[...] in Family, NHS at 9:40 am by Julie A few days ago I wrote about my husband’s granny still being in hospital even though we can’t quite work out [...]