My lack of blog posts over the last few days is really more about a lack of time and energy than a lack of will or ideas. My dad is in hospital post surgery and with my mum not able to drive, then my brother and I have been taking it in turns to take her over there and to go and see him. All seems to be going well in terms of recovery and I am pleased to say that so far I can complain about nothing in terms of nursing care, medical input or anything else. We face a period of uncertainty in knowing whether there is anything further to worry about with his health, but so far so good. As a woman in her 40’s I know that I am lucky that both my parent have until now enjoyed good health, and you just hope and even expect that will continue. People in my family, and particularly the male members have not to date enjoyed longevity. Therefore with this illness came an added issue of my mum being convinced that my dad would die on the operating table at the very least. I had a frustrating 10 minutes on the phone on Thursday when I was trying to explain to her that this was not the same as the emergency surgery my 80 year old granny with a history of heart disease and general poor health had 10 years ago. Thankfully that anxiety has passed for now.

Last night we had a family meal without Dad which was odd. My brother turned 40 on Thursday, the day of the surgery and so last night we went for an Indian meal. I feel slightly strange that my baby brother is 40. I was 5 years and 8 months when he was born and we have always been close. Jealousy at not getting enough attention when he was born led me to cut my hair with some nail scissors a few days after his birth, but other than that I have always had a better relationship with him than the brother who is closer in age. But to find that he is 40 must mean that I will be 46 later in the summer; how did that happen?